Welcome to Unpaid Spokeswomen, a column where we log what we’ve been into this week. Behind the wigs, makeup, costumes, and several layers of irony, we are two humans who genuinely enjoy doing things. Here is a weekly roundup of our unfiltered expert recommendations.
When I was 15 I was in hospital over Hallowe'en and the nurses let me watch The Craft and Scream after all the kids went to bed (I was the oldest on the children's ward by several years). They switched it off before Nightmare On Elm Street came on, which was probably a smart move all things considered. I didn't have a bed over six feet in length so my 6'2" self was a little cramped and the blanket wasn't electric but I did get shocks from the static that flashed blue in the dark. Swings and roundabouts I guess.
In other news, Katya's New York oddysee is the travelogue we never knew we wanted but we sure as shit needed.
The first one is my favorite bc it's so fng terrifying. HOWEVER, I liked how camp the rest of them got. We just rewatched the 2nd one (which I haven't done since I was a kid) and that shit was queer AF! There's even a documentary about how queer it was. The shower scene alone but also so many other things. "TINA!" LOL. Oh and PS, when we lived in LA, we went to the actual house and took pictures in front of it like not like "Hey, here we are with the Nightmare on Elm Street house" but as if we were actively running out of the house away from her. If I had a link here, I'd post it haha.
It's true, NYC is grimy, stinky, noisy and the weather is terrible half the time. It's a dirty concrete maze, or like a huge industrial complex with postage stamp size "parks" and just a handful of large ones. One of the good things is that you can go anywhere - there are no gated places except for Gramercy Park. Diversity, public transportation, anonymity make it ok too, versus lack of "community" but potato, potaato.
Jesus Christ. I feel like the world has been trying to keep a secret from me. Why have I never heard of "The Heart, She Holler" in my entire life?! W.T.F. THANK YOU KATYA for being the only one brave enough to tell me the truth (that this exists). Also, re: hospital alms, I had gastric sleeve surgery at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ and felt a similar crush. They also gave me free unlimited underwear WHICH I found so comfortable that I incorporated them into my regular life until they fell apart. After that, I ran o'er to Amazon to buy ones that were the most similar (aka stockings material boy shorts). The other thing they bestowed?! A lavender scented thing to sniff akin to that Vick's thing that looks like a chapstick but it's really a huffing device? Yeah that except lavender. It only exists to make you feel good. No other purpose. I was touched. Anyway, glad you're feeling better Trixie! Enjoying your strange NY game (while sitting in NY), Katya!
OH. Here is MY Unpaid Spokeswoman thing: I have been power binging YouTube videos that are all interviews with Nirvana, Courtney Love, and that "Independent but goes on Alex Jones so you're not fooling anybody rascal) Billy Corgan. Some of these interviews are old & some new. Some are individual & some together. I was a devoted Nirvana fan/teenager at the height of Nirvana so his death fng rattled the shit out of me and I just realized today that I haven't watched an interview with him SINCE 1994. Nice to see his face. Also? Found the entire series of "The Newlyweds" (Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey show) and have been binging. So oddly comfortable and they are BOTH so. Fng. Hot. Pleasant. Okay I recommend! Bye!
the eiffel tower in new york is truly one of my fave places to be 🥰
When I was 15 I was in hospital over Hallowe'en and the nurses let me watch The Craft and Scream after all the kids went to bed (I was the oldest on the children's ward by several years). They switched it off before Nightmare On Elm Street came on, which was probably a smart move all things considered. I didn't have a bed over six feet in length so my 6'2" self was a little cramped and the blanket wasn't electric but I did get shocks from the static that flashed blue in the dark. Swings and roundabouts I guess.
In other news, Katya's New York oddysee is the travelogue we never knew we wanted but we sure as shit needed.
Oh god...if it was the Nightmare on Elm Street that takes place in a hospital?! No way would I sleep.
It was the first one. I saw it at a party a few years later and it freaked me out enough that I was very pleased I didn't see it in hospital.
The first one is my favorite bc it's so fng terrifying. HOWEVER, I liked how camp the rest of them got. We just rewatched the 2nd one (which I haven't done since I was a kid) and that shit was queer AF! There's even a documentary about how queer it was. The shower scene alone but also so many other things. "TINA!" LOL. Oh and PS, when we lived in LA, we went to the actual house and took pictures in front of it like not like "Hey, here we are with the Nightmare on Elm Street house" but as if we were actively running out of the house away from her. If I had a link here, I'd post it haha.
Trixie I'm glad you're on the mend and Katya, "Keep spreadin' the news...NEW YORK, NEW YORK!"🎶🤣
St. Mary’s? Of course, Mary.
I hope you’re healed up, or on the mend.
It's true, NYC is grimy, stinky, noisy and the weather is terrible half the time. It's a dirty concrete maze, or like a huge industrial complex with postage stamp size "parks" and just a handful of large ones. One of the good things is that you can go anywhere - there are no gated places except for Gramercy Park. Diversity, public transportation, anonymity make it ok too, versus lack of "community" but potato, potaato.
Jesus Christ. I feel like the world has been trying to keep a secret from me. Why have I never heard of "The Heart, She Holler" in my entire life?! W.T.F. THANK YOU KATYA for being the only one brave enough to tell me the truth (that this exists). Also, re: hospital alms, I had gastric sleeve surgery at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ and felt a similar crush. They also gave me free unlimited underwear WHICH I found so comfortable that I incorporated them into my regular life until they fell apart. After that, I ran o'er to Amazon to buy ones that were the most similar (aka stockings material boy shorts). The other thing they bestowed?! A lavender scented thing to sniff akin to that Vick's thing that looks like a chapstick but it's really a huffing device? Yeah that except lavender. It only exists to make you feel good. No other purpose. I was touched. Anyway, glad you're feeling better Trixie! Enjoying your strange NY game (while sitting in NY), Katya!
OH. Here is MY Unpaid Spokeswoman thing: I have been power binging YouTube videos that are all interviews with Nirvana, Courtney Love, and that "Independent but goes on Alex Jones so you're not fooling anybody rascal) Billy Corgan. Some of these interviews are old & some new. Some are individual & some together. I was a devoted Nirvana fan/teenager at the height of Nirvana so his death fng rattled the shit out of me and I just realized today that I haven't watched an interview with him SINCE 1994. Nice to see his face. Also? Found the entire series of "The Newlyweds" (Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey show) and have been binging. So oddly comfortable and they are BOTH so. Fng. Hot. Pleasant. Okay I recommend! Bye!