Homosexuals like what we like. Conversely, heterosexuals think they like what they think they like. Since we are in the middle of the 11-month stretch of Straight Pride™, let us try to deepen our understanding of the customs and practices that this primitive nation holds dear. Here is a concise roundup of Things Straight People Like.
i will say, in dublin, yes monsters are consumed by the straights but they’re also a very popular drink among the queer community. people collect the cans and then stack them up on their walls and ok it sounds so dumb when you say it out loud hahahaha
I wouldn't sing the Rock's praises as an actor and I have no opinion on the amount of money he gets paid. But I will say this - the bitch stood in a pink tutu with wings and slippers and accepted her destiny as a fairy personally from the divine Julie Andrews! So, yeah, give her all the fucking money in the world for all I care.
The only time I have accepted people putting something like Believe on their walls is on the show Ted Lasso, because in that context it males sense and that show is so goddamn charming. Otherwise what am I suppose to believe in Karen? Pastels?...
I mean I'm straight and I do love Dwayne Johnson, but the only Fast and Furious I saw, Tokyo Drift, didn't have him. I like his family movie stuff. Mostly he's just a nice guy, and Moana was awesome too. I'm all for him running for president. What other person is a nice guy and has fans as politically diverse? If anyone can bring us together, he's got a better shot than any of the people running so far.
I am with you on all of these but I am both a "strategically" placed lighting gay as well as an overhead lighting gay bc I like every room to be brighter than the surface of the sun. Bc of this, no one and yet I persist. During the Bush administration, a "friend" once asked me if I was dating a Shah with the amount of electricity I use due to extreme lighting habits. The implication, of course, was that I had a connect to "Big Crude Oil" who could foot my electricity bill. I fng wish. I save the earth's natural resources in other ways.
Re: remotes, I have at least 5 and they each do different things. I'll never focus for long enough to care to fold them into one universal remote. In my experience, they are a lie.
I DO use adderal & meditation rather than energy drinks. I fng HATE Las Vegas (except would go for the reasons you outline). I do have one sign with writing that says, "Joy is an act of resistance" bc my anxiety-riddled wife feels like the only way you can take social justice issues seriously is to have a 24/7 panic attack. I am forcing soothing on them with this sign. "HAVE FUN IN ORDER TO FUCK OVER THE PATRIARCHY, PLEASE." I have no cogent opinions on the Rock other than that he is "fine" as in ("ok" not "dayum").
One thing that I will add is that I am trying to learn home organization skills from straight Mormon Moms bc they've got that shit on lock. I bought OXO canisters for my Magic Spoon cereal. Queering cereal.
The only thing I'm guilty of on here is the words on the wall. I have a small sign that says "enjoy the little things" only because it's a quote from zombieland lol I'm also not straight so I guess that makes sense.
I detest "signage" and quotes written on pillows and walls, etc. I almost view it as a challenge, where I scream out: "Don't tell me how to live my life!" It's the same way I view posters with fluffy cats saying: "Hang in there," or Self-Help books with inspirational quotes and devotionals. I worked at a bookstore for nearly a decade, those types of books always ended up in the bargain bins for a reason. Change is complicated and a book of quotes isn't going to fix your life. And signage isn't going to lux up your decor. An antique, haunted jewelry box might. Trixie understood this when she saw the dreaded quotes and signage. 😱
This popping up in my email while my gay ass was chugging a Red Bull at work makes me feel extremely seen.
i will say, in dublin, yes monsters are consumed by the straights but they’re also a very popular drink among the queer community. people collect the cans and then stack them up on their walls and ok it sounds so dumb when you say it out loud hahahaha
I wouldn't sing the Rock's praises as an actor and I have no opinion on the amount of money he gets paid. But I will say this - the bitch stood in a pink tutu with wings and slippers and accepted her destiny as a fairy personally from the divine Julie Andrews! So, yeah, give her all the fucking money in the world for all I care.
hi my name is jade and i am very sapphic and i drink the pink monster because it is pretty and tastes like summer thank you for coming to my ted talk
The only time I have accepted people putting something like Believe on their walls is on the show Ted Lasso, because in that context it males sense and that show is so goddamn charming. Otherwise what am I suppose to believe in Karen? Pastels?...
The Elvira slot machine....mama KNOWS.
Love you Queen. This is great.
I mean I'm straight and I do love Dwayne Johnson, but the only Fast and Furious I saw, Tokyo Drift, didn't have him. I like his family movie stuff. Mostly he's just a nice guy, and Moana was awesome too. I'm all for him running for president. What other person is a nice guy and has fans as politically diverse? If anyone can bring us together, he's got a better shot than any of the people running so far.
I think at this point my blood is 80% iced coffee- even in winter.
I am with you on all of these but I am both a "strategically" placed lighting gay as well as an overhead lighting gay bc I like every room to be brighter than the surface of the sun. Bc of this, no one and yet I persist. During the Bush administration, a "friend" once asked me if I was dating a Shah with the amount of electricity I use due to extreme lighting habits. The implication, of course, was that I had a connect to "Big Crude Oil" who could foot my electricity bill. I fng wish. I save the earth's natural resources in other ways.
Re: remotes, I have at least 5 and they each do different things. I'll never focus for long enough to care to fold them into one universal remote. In my experience, they are a lie.
I DO use adderal & meditation rather than energy drinks. I fng HATE Las Vegas (except would go for the reasons you outline). I do have one sign with writing that says, "Joy is an act of resistance" bc my anxiety-riddled wife feels like the only way you can take social justice issues seriously is to have a 24/7 panic attack. I am forcing soothing on them with this sign. "HAVE FUN IN ORDER TO FUCK OVER THE PATRIARCHY, PLEASE." I have no cogent opinions on the Rock other than that he is "fine" as in ("ok" not "dayum").
One thing that I will add is that I am trying to learn home organization skills from straight Mormon Moms bc they've got that shit on lock. I bought OXO canisters for my Magic Spoon cereal. Queering cereal.
The only thing I'm guilty of on here is the words on the wall. I have a small sign that says "enjoy the little things" only because it's a quote from zombieland lol I'm also not straight so I guess that makes sense.
Thanks for this. I have always struggled to decide if I am gay straight. Now I can definitively say I am not straight.
I detest "signage" and quotes written on pillows and walls, etc. I almost view it as a challenge, where I scream out: "Don't tell me how to live my life!" It's the same way I view posters with fluffy cats saying: "Hang in there," or Self-Help books with inspirational quotes and devotionals. I worked at a bookstore for nearly a decade, those types of books always ended up in the bargain bins for a reason. Change is complicated and a book of quotes isn't going to fix your life. And signage isn't going to lux up your decor. An antique, haunted jewelry box might. Trixie understood this when she saw the dreaded quotes and signage. 😱
I’ve needed this laugh for years
I loveee thiss
This is sending me into fucking orbit