Oof, Trixie’s reply about the creepy co-worker is not it! You don’t have to put up with that BS in the workplace and a 16 year old girl definitely does NOT have all the power. Take it to HR/your manager and have someone talk to him directly about the issue at the bare minimum. Calling your teen coworkers beautiful is gross gross gross.
Women have been told to just deal with creepiness and harassment for decades instead of forcing men to be held accountable for their inappropriate behaviour. And in this case it’s literally a child being made uncomfortable by a grown man who definitely knows he’s not just being nice. If the teen who wrote that is reading this please talk to your boss about how you feel, and if that doesn’t work see if there’s someone above them (their bids, corporate etc.) you can talk to about the creepy guy AND your boss who doesn’t give a shit.
If you feel comfortable speaking to him yourself you’re definitely within your rights to ask him to stop and hopefully he respects it! If he doesn’t, I think you should talk to your manager and ask them to talk to him and explain it makes you uncomfortable. If he really “doesn’t know” that what he’s doing is inappropriate, that’s all the more reason for someone to have a chat with him about it. If it doesn’t stop, don’t be afraid to keep pushing this issue with people above you. You have the right to a safe and comfortable working environment, despite how much it’s been normalized for us to accept this kind of treatment. Learning not to take bullshit from dudes as a teen is a great skill, it takes lots of people years to stand up for themselves, you’re ahead of the game. Good luck pal!
I love Gooped because I think the point is to laugh about everything in life and find a lightness in whatever is going on. But as someone who was abuse since I was 6 years old and a Latina who was told that it was ok because men are just like that, Trixie’s answer was not funny at all and it is actually sad. I hope that the girl who wrote that knows that is fine to talk about it, what she feels is valid and real and as Katya said GET HIM FIRE.
2. If that gets nowhere (sometimes you work at a small business with no HR), quit and get another job.
3. If it's not possible to get another job and you can't afford to quit this one, THEN resort to saying you have a boyfriend. That should be the absolute last resort, when nothing else is possible -- there are better alternatives out there!
Also just wanted to reiterate: as someone who was once a teenage girl and who encountered their fair share of creepy older dudes, that guy sucks. And he absolutely knows what he's doing.
We don't really have the power because if we did, we could opt out of sexualised situations without it being dangerous. A grown adult fetishising a 16yo is not going to take being shot down well because part of what he's after is the power trip and these types do escalate. These girls are in a very difficult situation, particularly if they're working here out of necessity and options are limited. Maybe school-based guidance councillors could be an affordable option to help figure out an answer with more context?
#1 wasn't great either. We don't know what kind of agreement the LW's parents have going on. If you're reading this, I'm so sorry this happened. If you feel safe speaking to your dad about it, that's an option, but it's fine if you don't. None of this is your responsibility or your fault. If you have an adult to speak to outside the picture that is your best bet.
And for #2, I wish Katya had said *how* the creepy guy in her workplace was fired. This guy should definitely be fired and I'm sorry your male coworkers aren't sticking up for you. If there is an HR I would go to them and if there isn't and you are able to find a comparable job I would leave. Unfortunately this is so widespread but you don't have to stay somewhere that makes you feel shitty or unsafe just because people are acting like it's normal. It's not okay.
Creeped Out Gal - Please bring this up to your boss &/or Human Resources. The bottom line is this person’s behavior is making you feel uncomfortable & that is not okay, it’s something that needs to be addressed. Talk to the other person at work who is also feeling uncomfortable to see if they will talk to your boss/HR as well, that way if you’re feeling nervous you have support there & also because you should both bring up those concerns. If it continues to happen, continue to bring it up & say you want it documented.
You have every right to feel comfortable & safe in your work environment.
As much as we love these 'women', answers such as the one Trixie gave to question 2 shows that they are still men, and have no idea how it feels, as a woman (of any age) to be preyed on by a creepy man. It is scary, and a teenage girl certainly does not have the power in that situation. She absolutely needs to talk to someone of authority, and if they don't take it seriously, take it further up the ladder until someone does. Even if she were to leave that job, that creepy man would still be there to prey on someone else.
To the girl who saw her dad kissing another man: maybe mom knows. Maybe they have an arrangement. So talk to dad first. With compassion. And see where that goes. If your mom doesn’t know, ask your dad to come out. You’re not supposed to cover for him.
And yeah. Trixie, very bad advice to the 16 year old with a creepo boss. Fuck him. Like Katya said. Get his ass fired.
WoW the ethical dilemmas and situations the question submitters are dealing with at 15 and 16 years old would be tricky and unpleasant at any age! I’m glad they’ve reached out for advice. But as an educator who works with kids and is constantly making counselling referrals. I would highly recommend approaching a counsellor at school or a trusted teacher. To try and get professional advice is very important. Even searching for free counselling and youth support services in your local area would be a good idea. Sending love & wishing your all the best for navigating such tricky situations. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
I disagree with Trixie's advice here, although I think it's well-intentioned. Women are powerful, but especially in these situations and with someone who doesn't have the tenure or respect in the workplace, we are often powerless here. Women are often given this advice when confronted with an inevitable uncomfortable coworker it customer, and it's really not the best thing to do. A lot of us WILL use the "I have a boyfriend" as a way out in our younger years, but all its doing it bringing in another man into the situation that you're hoping this creep will respect... Meaning he won't back off if YOU are unwilling, but he will if he's in danger of disrespecting another man by encroaching on his "territory". Unfortunately the second element at play is also basically just putting up with it and letting him continue without consequences, if not to you, to others. Whether it's in a club, in a bar at a party, at work, whatever -- these weirdos need to hear NO in no uncertain terms, without an excuse. Having an excuse absolves you of your role here, it's "for reasons outside of your control" which leads them to believe you like it, want it, and allow it. Don't leave room for interpretation. Block, delete, make yourself unavailable, and go riiiight to HR. Dude should be fired. Trixie is right in that it's probably just the beginning, this seems to be an ongoing encounter you'll have for the rest of your life but you will get better at being confident and you'll learn to stand up against it. Often employers won't act until you're actually assaulted, they don't like "boat-rockers" and people who have any sort of issue that management must deal with, but it's important that he's reported for posterity at least. If not for you, for the girl who will replace you when you're gone, who has to work with him.
Oof, Trixie’s reply about the creepy co-worker is not it! You don’t have to put up with that BS in the workplace and a 16 year old girl definitely does NOT have all the power. Take it to HR/your manager and have someone talk to him directly about the issue at the bare minimum. Calling your teen coworkers beautiful is gross gross gross.
Women have been told to just deal with creepiness and harassment for decades instead of forcing men to be held accountable for their inappropriate behaviour. And in this case it’s literally a child being made uncomfortable by a grown man who definitely knows he’s not just being nice. If the teen who wrote that is reading this please talk to your boss about how you feel, and if that doesn’t work see if there’s someone above them (their bids, corporate etc.) you can talk to about the creepy guy AND your boss who doesn’t give a shit.
Boss** not bids smh
If you feel comfortable speaking to him yourself you’re definitely within your rights to ask him to stop and hopefully he respects it! If he doesn’t, I think you should talk to your manager and ask them to talk to him and explain it makes you uncomfortable. If he really “doesn’t know” that what he’s doing is inappropriate, that’s all the more reason for someone to have a chat with him about it. If it doesn’t stop, don’t be afraid to keep pushing this issue with people above you. You have the right to a safe and comfortable working environment, despite how much it’s been normalized for us to accept this kind of treatment. Learning not to take bullshit from dudes as a teen is a great skill, it takes lots of people years to stand up for themselves, you’re ahead of the game. Good luck pal!
I love Gooped because I think the point is to laugh about everything in life and find a lightness in whatever is going on. But as someone who was abuse since I was 6 years old and a Latina who was told that it was ok because men are just like that, Trixie’s answer was not funny at all and it is actually sad. I hope that the girl who wrote that knows that is fine to talk about it, what she feels is valid and real and as Katya said GET HIM FIRE.
I agree that Trixie's reply is Not It.
The teenager who wrote this should:
1. Report it to her boss, HR, management, etc
2. If that gets nowhere (sometimes you work at a small business with no HR), quit and get another job.
3. If it's not possible to get another job and you can't afford to quit this one, THEN resort to saying you have a boyfriend. That should be the absolute last resort, when nothing else is possible -- there are better alternatives out there!
Also just wanted to reiterate: as someone who was once a teenage girl and who encountered their fair share of creepy older dudes, that guy sucks. And he absolutely knows what he's doing.
We don't really have the power because if we did, we could opt out of sexualised situations without it being dangerous. A grown adult fetishising a 16yo is not going to take being shot down well because part of what he's after is the power trip and these types do escalate. These girls are in a very difficult situation, particularly if they're working here out of necessity and options are limited. Maybe school-based guidance councillors could be an affordable option to help figure out an answer with more context?
#1 wasn't great either. We don't know what kind of agreement the LW's parents have going on. If you're reading this, I'm so sorry this happened. If you feel safe speaking to your dad about it, that's an option, but it's fine if you don't. None of this is your responsibility or your fault. If you have an adult to speak to outside the picture that is your best bet.
And for #2, I wish Katya had said *how* the creepy guy in her workplace was fired. This guy should definitely be fired and I'm sorry your male coworkers aren't sticking up for you. If there is an HR I would go to them and if there isn't and you are able to find a comparable job I would leave. Unfortunately this is so widespread but you don't have to stay somewhere that makes you feel shitty or unsafe just because people are acting like it's normal. It's not okay.
I think we can all agree that reaching out to these two wild women for sage advice is also “not it.”
Creeped Out Gal - Please bring this up to your boss &/or Human Resources. The bottom line is this person’s behavior is making you feel uncomfortable & that is not okay, it’s something that needs to be addressed. Talk to the other person at work who is also feeling uncomfortable to see if they will talk to your boss/HR as well, that way if you’re feeling nervous you have support there & also because you should both bring up those concerns. If it continues to happen, continue to bring it up & say you want it documented.
You have every right to feel comfortable & safe in your work environment.
As much as we love these 'women', answers such as the one Trixie gave to question 2 shows that they are still men, and have no idea how it feels, as a woman (of any age) to be preyed on by a creepy man. It is scary, and a teenage girl certainly does not have the power in that situation. She absolutely needs to talk to someone of authority, and if they don't take it seriously, take it further up the ladder until someone does. Even if she were to leave that job, that creepy man would still be there to prey on someone else.
To the girl who saw her dad kissing another man: maybe mom knows. Maybe they have an arrangement. So talk to dad first. With compassion. And see where that goes. If your mom doesn’t know, ask your dad to come out. You’re not supposed to cover for him.
And yeah. Trixie, very bad advice to the 16 year old with a creepo boss. Fuck him. Like Katya said. Get his ass fired.
WoW the ethical dilemmas and situations the question submitters are dealing with at 15 and 16 years old would be tricky and unpleasant at any age! I’m glad they’ve reached out for advice. But as an educator who works with kids and is constantly making counselling referrals. I would highly recommend approaching a counsellor at school or a trusted teacher. To try and get professional advice is very important. Even searching for free counselling and youth support services in your local area would be a good idea. Sending love & wishing your all the best for navigating such tricky situations. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
I disagree with Trixie's advice here, although I think it's well-intentioned. Women are powerful, but especially in these situations and with someone who doesn't have the tenure or respect in the workplace, we are often powerless here. Women are often given this advice when confronted with an inevitable uncomfortable coworker it customer, and it's really not the best thing to do. A lot of us WILL use the "I have a boyfriend" as a way out in our younger years, but all its doing it bringing in another man into the situation that you're hoping this creep will respect... Meaning he won't back off if YOU are unwilling, but he will if he's in danger of disrespecting another man by encroaching on his "territory". Unfortunately the second element at play is also basically just putting up with it and letting him continue without consequences, if not to you, to others. Whether it's in a club, in a bar at a party, at work, whatever -- these weirdos need to hear NO in no uncertain terms, without an excuse. Having an excuse absolves you of your role here, it's "for reasons outside of your control" which leads them to believe you like it, want it, and allow it. Don't leave room for interpretation. Block, delete, make yourself unavailable, and go riiiight to HR. Dude should be fired. Trixie is right in that it's probably just the beginning, this seems to be an ongoing encounter you'll have for the rest of your life but you will get better at being confident and you'll learn to stand up against it. Often employers won't act until you're actually assaulted, they don't like "boat-rockers" and people who have any sort of issue that management must deal with, but it's important that he's reported for posterity at least. If not for you, for the girl who will replace you when you're gone, who has to work with him.
Y'all are impossibly wise, even for your combined age of 71 :) thank youuu