To Why body why, I am sorry but I have to mostly disagree with the girls on this one, having recovered from a similar situation (google vaginismus) myself following sexual assault. My body would not accept penetration and I was told to "use lube" and "be on top". Sorry, but I just don't think people who have never had vaginas (even bottoms!) can fully understand the dimensions of this trauma. Yes, there are physical steps you can take, but often the body's response is rooted in emotional shit. I suggest getting a sex therapist (LCSW, CST) who can work with you on the emotional and physical dimensions of this issue. And remember, as Katya said, you are not alone!
Fun and jokes aside re: fear of poisoned and contaminated food, I’m pretty sure that’s a semi-common obsessive compulsive disorder theme. I’m not here to armchair diagnose and it could very well be run of the mill anxiety, but I think that person should probably bring it up with their doctor and see about getting screened for OCD. Or at least Google “contamination OCD”.
To LW #2: I can completely relate. I think aside from the advice you were already given, it might help to accept the fact that you feel this way now, even though you have no idea why. I'm getting that you might be feeling weird or like you are somehow wrong or broken, which is natural but it is totally okay, and you don't need to have an explanation! Sex is weird, sexuality is weird, and our sexual lives change so much over our lives. I hope you continue to have sex that is fulfilling or at least enjoyable.
I also very much relate to #2 and, although the girls gave the best advice they could as cis men/comedians, I appreciate the responses in the comments.
One thing that gender could reveal here: MANY MANY women have experiences, horrible ones, getting roofied at bars. Not as many men. So the fear isn't entirely abstract or irrational. If you dare, go look for that topic on reddit or twitter and be prepared to become very disillusioned. But in this case, it would be preferable to know what the real risks are and where they pop up most often. Opening your own beers, mixing your own drinks, and not leaving them on a table in a club are all good self-care, these days. BYOB could save your life!
To Why body why, I am sorry but I have to mostly disagree with the girls on this one, having recovered from a similar situation (google vaginismus) myself following sexual assault. My body would not accept penetration and I was told to "use lube" and "be on top". Sorry, but I just don't think people who have never had vaginas (even bottoms!) can fully understand the dimensions of this trauma. Yes, there are physical steps you can take, but often the body's response is rooted in emotional shit. I suggest getting a sex therapist (LCSW, CST) who can work with you on the emotional and physical dimensions of this issue. And remember, as Katya said, you are not alone!
Fun and jokes aside re: fear of poisoned and contaminated food, I’m pretty sure that’s a semi-common obsessive compulsive disorder theme. I’m not here to armchair diagnose and it could very well be run of the mill anxiety, but I think that person should probably bring it up with their doctor and see about getting screened for OCD. Or at least Google “contamination OCD”.
Agreed and thanks for bringing this up. As an OCD-haver with contamination themes, that persons concerns reek of obsessive compulsive disorder.
To LW #2: I can completely relate. I think aside from the advice you were already given, it might help to accept the fact that you feel this way now, even though you have no idea why. I'm getting that you might be feeling weird or like you are somehow wrong or broken, which is natural but it is totally okay, and you don't need to have an explanation! Sex is weird, sexuality is weird, and our sexual lives change so much over our lives. I hope you continue to have sex that is fulfilling or at least enjoyable.
I also very much relate to #2 and, although the girls gave the best advice they could as cis men/comedians, I appreciate the responses in the comments.
One thing that gender could reveal here: MANY MANY women have experiences, horrible ones, getting roofied at bars. Not as many men. So the fear isn't entirely abstract or irrational. If you dare, go look for that topic on reddit or twitter and be prepared to become very disillusioned. But in this case, it would be preferable to know what the real risks are and where they pop up most often. Opening your own beers, mixing your own drinks, and not leaving them on a table in a club are all good self-care, these days. BYOB could save your life!