Unpaid Spokeswomen #8

Welcome to Unpaid Spokeswomen, a column where we log what we’ve been into this week. Behind the wigs, makeup, costumes, and several layers of irony, we are two humans who genuinely enjoy doing things. Here is a weekly roundup of our unfiltered expert recommendations.

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Trixie:

Mental Illness by Aimee Mann

I have listened to this album at least once a week since it came out several years ago. The storytelling by this woman is life changing. The main magic trick you perform as a songwriter is to take a very relatable feeling/idea and make it new by calling it something else. Where the audience doesn’t have to think very hard but they’re like “ohhhhhhh.” This album won Aimee the Grammy for Folk Album a few years ago and I have never stopped listening. Go listen to Rollercoasters and try not to cry bitch.

WARNING: this album is overall pretty sad. Tracks are named “Stuck In The Past,” “You Never Loved Me,” and “Patient Zero.” If you are one of those people who doesn’t necessarily need an extra push to start crying, proceed with caution.

Ladies and gentlemen, her.

MAC Face and Body

Let’s address the elephant in the room–MAC has in many ways “fallen off” as the kids say. Once a juggernaut of the industry and a veritable who’s who of upcoming makeup artists, the brand has now been reduced to the impulse aisle at Boots #7 in the UK. Still, many of the iconic formulas that once made the brand great have remained unchanged- including Face and Body. Face and Body is pretty much every MAC person’s favorite foundation. It’s extremely sheer, extremely long wearing, and looks exactly like real skin when it’s on. This is for when you’d like to look hydrated and well-rested. Not necessarily BEAT DOWN. It was originally formulated as a body makeup for dancers who would get bruises on their knees and arms from doing floor work. As a professional dancer, I can relate. 

Gay boys, low-maintenance girls, and even on-camera talent love this product. I think everyone should own a bottle.

Girl, you have done it again.

Katya: 

Phone-Free Bed for Well-Rested Head

So this is not so much a product recommendation but rather a recommendation of how and where to use a product that likely already own. The irony is that I am writing this on my phone in my bed, but I assure you that this is an extremely rare occurrence. 

When it comes to bad habits, destructive behaviors, compulsive activities—well, let’s just say I’ve racked up some serious mileage. But for some reason, one good habit that I’ve been consistently unyielding on is that I won’t ever have my phone in my bed. NEVER. (except for now, which I swear, happens maybe once a year.)

I know many young folks and older folks who will scroll and scroll until the wee hours. And then upon awakening their hand will reach out before they’re fully awake to pick up where they left off, sometimes staying in the bed for hours! Now I suggest this mostly for those who have ever had a hard time falling asleep, which many of us do. 

One thing I like about my bedroom is that I don’t spend any time in there other than sleeping, putting on clothes and sorting laundry. That’s it. I do nothing in my bed besides sleep. (I haven’t even had sex in there for about a year, but that’s a personal problem.) I don’t even bother with much decorations, as the minimalist decor serves to reinforce the main event—a good night’s sleep. I’ll charge my phone on the nightstand and put it away. It’s always on do not disturb from 10pm-7am, and I use an old fashioned digital alarm clock if I need to wake up early. I can’t overstate how the quality of sleep is improved by these habits. Try it out, and I especially recommend leaving your phone out of the bedroom altogether if you can. 

This could be you!

Binaural Beats for falling asleep

Go to YouTube and check out Anthony Sommer’s page. I’ve been falling asleep to the “Happiness Frequency”  for the past few months and I just love it. I've got a small but powerful bluetooth speaker on the night stand beside my bed—I don’t like sleeping with headphones in—and so I simply pop on one of these 4-8 hour videos and let the soothing soundscapes slide me into slumbertown. 

Her mind!