Unpaid Spokeswomen #31

Welcome to Unpaid Spokeswomen, a column where we log what we’ve been into this week. Behind the wigs, makeup, costumes, and several layers of irony, we are two humans who genuinely enjoy doing things. Here is a weekly roundup of our unfiltered expert recommendations.

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Trixie:

One/Size Go Off Makeup Dissolving Spray

It’s no secret that I regularly paint myself up like an Easter egg selling her ass to make rent. I cover my head in adhesives, body paints, and automotive lacquers like four or five times a week. I then trot around on stage like Betty Boop on ketamine before barely returning to the dressing room alive. Then it’s time to remove it all and for someone with sensitive skin like me, the removal process can be far more damaging than the application. 

This makeup dissolving spray changed my life! You basically mist a thin layer of this slick agent all over your face and give it a few minutes to sit. After a few minutes, the integrity of the makeup has been slowly eaten away by the spray. Now the makeup just about falls off with one makeup wipe or a warm washcloth. It really keeps me from scrubbing my face too much or stripping my skin. The spray is 24 bucks but it will last you months–especially if you aren’t me and wear a modest amount of make up every day.

MOSCHINO

I never much cared for fashion until my very early 20s when I discovered the first runway shows I ever cared about. Heatherette was first with their ultra-feminine and fantastical runway shows. Then it was Gareth Pugh with these alien and surreal hyper-Goth presentations. Finally, I stumbled upon Moschino and my understanding of what fashion could be permanently shifted.

Jeremy Scott has a way of being an innovator who loves the human form and making the body look great but also a disruptor who mocks fashion and commercialism for all to see. Obviously his Think Pink collection, which was a Barbie-inspired show, had a huge impact on me, but I get excited for every single show he does. Everything is so conceptual and poppy and very drag. Moschino recently did a diner collection featuring a purse that was literally a commercial coffee pot on a chain. Love. 

Jeremy Scott recently made me a dress for the Critics Choice Awards and it was very surreal to be at the fitting. I think the way that the brand parodies fashion while actually participating in it is so brilliant.

Katya:

Fan Gifts

One of the best things about being a famous reality TV drag queen is the amount and variety of insane and often handmade gifts presented to me at Meet and Greets. I’ve been traveling for about six years and I have received some of the most incredible items ranging from priceless artifacts completely unique in nature to total pieces of shit that just take up space in my suitcase. I’m lucky it’s usually the former. Here’s an incomplete list of the most unforgettable, incredible gifts I have received from fans. This is not an endorsement of tzochkes/tokens/artifacts but rather an expression of gratitude for the generosity that people display and the appreciation they show. In no particular order:

-A 6x6 crocheted Afghan blanket with a hammer and sickle on it that I believe was delivered cross-country by a fan in Iowa or Indiana, one of those I states. This was early on after season 7 and it was actually a bit frightening to receive because it was instantly apparent how much time/energy/effort went into it. I will never throw it away and it will live longer than me.

-Cigarettes. I’ve received many, many packs of smokes. Whereas Trixie really enjoys flowers as a gift, I would rather receive a bouquet of cigarettes. They last longer and are much more useful and they don’t die. But they help me die!

-Human teeth. Lovely teeth. Be careful what you wish for (or what you tweet at 2am) because sometimes those things mysteriously appear in your mailbox and before you know it you have about six dozen sets of human teeth. Not quite as useful as cigarettes but still much more interesting than roses.

-A shirt saga: Sara Green from Houston, Texas took a Meet and Greet picture of us and then had the image printed on a t-shirt. At another Meet and Greet, she wore that shirt and took a picture of us. And then the NEXT time, she made a t-shirt with the picture of us where she is wearing the t-shirt with the picture of us printed on it. I have also been gifted these shirts. The inception of shirts over the course of years is a wonderful catalog of my “style journey” and hair stories.

-The opossum-headed buttplug I got last night. Being currently on tour having done the first meet and greet, it was a bummer to not be able to hug fans (the best part of the meet and greet) however, there was girl who said “I tried to bring you an opossum head buttplug but they wouldn’t let it through security.” I thought she was joking, but lo and behold in the dressing room was one of the coolest gifts ever to date. It scared the shit out of all the dancers, it’s super disgusting, the tongue is nasty, and it looks very functional.