Being a Huge Slut

It can be difficult taking that daunting first step into being a huge slut. What about my reputation at the office? What about venereal diseases? What about going to Hell? The thoughts can be assaulting and intrusive.

1.) Say exactly what you want.

The fastest way to end up in a situation where you are having unsatisfactory sex is to be ambiguous about the type of sex you want. Society trains us to be mysterious and coy about our carnal desires but often times a brisk approach is the fastest way to getting what you want. Think of it as you leaning out a window and screaming "It's my money and I want it now!" It's confusing but at least now people know you are someone who watches a lot of TV.

The bonus of being very specific in your approach is that consent always comes packaged in a pretty pink bow. If you want a fist shoved in your mouth while someone degrades you and pops balloons, you are doing a courtesy by letting everyone involved know what to expect once the lights dim.

2.) Sex isn't always intercourse.

There are many exciting ways to be a huge slut without ever having to get naked or even make it to the bedroom. Make out in the car! Give a handjob at Planet Fitness. Dry hump on your front patio without ever letting him pass over the threshold of your domain. Even heated sexting and cheeky photos can be a fun way to express your sexuality without even having to slip on your house shoes.

Sex without sex is also a great way to slowly roll out the carpet to make sure everyone is on board with what you have to offer. If you're a terrible kisser, give people a fighting chance to find this out before you handcuff them to the bedpost and start pissing.

3.) Today is the youngest and most virile you will ever be again.

It's not likely you'll find many elderly citizens on their death beds wishing they hadn't sucked so much dick and cock on a rowboat in Martha's Vineyard.  Life is short and there are wet pussies and hard dicks just waiting for you. Conversely, you are also a hot hot person with whom many suitors desire to bed. Don't deprive your admirers a taste of your hot wet banana cream pie. Give them the dessert now before you let it sit out in the sun for a few decades and wish you had fed the masses more when you were a fresh pie.

***Sexual positivity goes both ways however. As much as you have a right to be a huge big slut, you also should be able to enjoy the freedom of being selective and conservative about when and where you backbend and show your titties.