SPECIAL POST: Tour Prep Diary!

Katya:

So Trixie and I are in the midst of what is known in the theater world as Hell Week—the week leading up to the premiere of a new show. For us, it’s a show that’s been in the works for quite a while, but on account of Trixie’s unmanageable work schedule and my extreme distaste for working, finding adequate time for rehearsal has proved to be the most challenging  production element so far.

We are lucky to have gotten Laganja to do the choreography, which is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that she is incredible and the choreography is fabulous but the curse is that it’s difficult and I am so slow to learn any steps out of my very limited movement vocabulary which consists of walk, hair toss, wiggle, wiggle, handstand.

It’s an ambitious production, and so months ago, I insisted that learning the choreography would take me at least twice the time than it would for any non-dancing performer. And of course, I didn’t get that extra time, which is probably why, after 6 straight days of rehearsals my body feels and looks like an exhumed corpse from the 1800’s.

People love to say I’m a dancer. And while I appreciate the compliment, the truth is that those people have been lied to several times as I am unqualified, and nothing of the sort. Just because a person can point their toes, do a handstand and a split does not mean they can dance. It took me about 3 hours to wrap my head and feet around a “kick, ball, change” and I still dont have it down.

Chassée? Get out of here. Pas de bouret? Shut up. Rond de jambe en l’air? Forget about it. Despite my hideously frustrating inability to pick up steps at a decent pace, and thanks to the invaluable tutelage of Miss Estranja, I finally got the closing number completed with no mistakes. It was absolutely thrilling until I realized that I would need to do the same thing in makeup, corseted, wearing pads, tights, wig, heels and a fucking costume. After sweating through several shirts not in drag in an air conditioned room, I could help but wonder if it was too late to rename the show, as I can only anticipate the amount of sweating I will be doing might be enough to give Waterworld a run for its money. (It famously made very little money at the box office, so it shouldn’t be that hard.)

Anyways, we are going into tech at the moment and I am about to practice a very cool but very top secret little detail of the show that I will not spoil, but will give you a hint: sometimes you gotta sleep your way to the top and let others do the heavy lifting.

We will keep you posted, as the tour kicks off next week in San Francisco.

XX KATYA

Trixie:

If this Substack seems shorter than usual, it’s because I have been in the throes of rehearsal for this crazy tour. The good news is I’m on stage with somebody I trust and in an environment where we can try new things all the time to see what’s funniest. The bad news is the costumes, the dancing, and the specific theatrical cues make executing certain sections less playful and more actually important that you get it right.

I’m proud of us so far! I think we had Chipotle like five days in a row so that was nice. And I am obsessed with Jimmy Johns so I’ve had that a bunch of times at the rehearsal space.  The only trouble is the vigorous rehearsals have really cut into my available time for drinking. But I went to rehearsal hungover today so I’m obviously still making time.

Tomorrow we going to tech rehearsals which is usually in theater a very long day of stopping and starting to make sure all the light and sound cues are perfect. I plan on going into it hydrated, positive, and most importantly not hung over.